On Articles of Clothing and Lawyers from the 1880s Who Hang Out at My Parents' House

You Can’t Wear that Shirt If You Want to Be My Friend!

Dream Description:
In this dream, it was Wednesday evening.  I drove to Liberty University to pick up some friends who ride with me to church choir practice.  In the waking world, this is an actual event that takes place every Wednesday.  I always drive to LU and pick up these people.  When I pulled up to the Music Hall where they were waiting for me in my dream, one of my friends—Andrew—was wearing the same shirt as me.  I was incensed.  I was filled with rage, and I rolled down the car window before he even got in and said, “No.  Go change.”  Then we were back at his dorm, and I made him change his shirt.

ANALYSIS:
I am such a jerk.

At first, I thought this dream just meant that I subconsciously hate Andrew even though consciously, I like him very much.  But then I started thinking that I must be against all types of solidarity and brotherhood.  I think that if this had happened in real life, I would have wanted to do the same thing.  I would have wanted to tell him to go change his shirt.  I wouldn’t have actually done it, but it would have been my first inclination.  Why?  Because I’m a jerk.  Because I want to have my own style, my own unique personality, my own identity that is special and separate from everyone else.  Narcissism.

Obviously, I have Jealous-Red-Envy-Gollum Syndrome, which is a disease that makes you angry when white people wear the same clothes as you.  The pseudo-cure for this disease is to yell at Republicans.

This dream also signifies how Andrew is awesome, and I should be more like him.  Less like a perfectly unique snowflake, more like a cog in an enormous grandfather clock; less like a self-absorbed void, more like a benevolent soul; less like an asshole, more like a human being.

The Lawyers from the 1880s are Dueling in my Parents’ Bedroom

Dream Description:
I was at my parent’s house in Maryland which was also a saloon filled with lawyers from the 1880s or something.  They all had on 1800s-looking suits and hats.  And there was a western saloon bartender guy in my parents’ bedroom, so if you wanted a beer, you could just go to my parents’ bedroom.  We were all watching TV—me and the 1880s lawyers—when I realized that I needed to brush my teeth.  I opened a tube of toothpaste, and ice cream and oreos kept coming out of it instead of toothpaste.  So I spread the ice cream/oreo mixture all over my teeth.

ANALYSIS:
The lawyers represent adulthood.  The fact that they were all drinking beer and hanging out at a saloon is significant because it shows that even refined, moral people are allowed to drink, which is why I’m a Presbyterian.  Saloons are normally places associated with angry drunks, loose women, tawdry entertainment, and violent duels.  For my brain to place respectable, law-abiding citizens in such a setting shows that I am super mature and responsible . . . I guess.

On the other hand, the saloon was also my parents’ house, so maybe this dream represents the few high school parties I had at my parents’ house when I was a teenager—parties in which pizza was eaten, board games were played, and PG movies were viewed.  Yeah, I was a bad-ass in high school.

The moral of the story is that you should always brush your teeth.